Oli here... I'm a mental health advocate and a later skater, I picked up skateboarding at 38 in the first year of the pandemic. A Photographer + Creative Director by trade and juggling life things as a momma. I'm healing from my C-PTSD, PMDD, and managing my lupus condition (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus) since I was 12. All of these things have challenged me with both mental + physical limitations throughout my life and in my skating practice. Skating became an essential part of my mental health journey through observation, research, and reflection. Along with other methods that I've been practicing alongside it, it was all working together to help heal my mind, body + spirit. After practicing those methods consistently for 6 months, I came up with the MNSTR Skate Initiative… a project born out of curiosity and desire to help others, hoping the info would encourage others to help themselves with their mental health. Skating has given me so much in such a short time and constantly working to pass that forward. My lifelong interests are in the areas of psychology, skating, graphic design, photography, nutrition, physical health, and mental health matters.
The MNSTR Skate Initiative is deeply personal to me. This project is driven by my lived experiences with C-PTSD, shaped by childhood adversities, chronic illness, and ongoing encounters with racial + gender discrimination. Originally from Indonesia, I moved to four countries during my formative years—Singapore, New Zealand, the US, and Australia—and now reside in Canada. I dealt with many changes both internally + externally as I adapted to different cultural settings and environments. While my story spans continents and challenges, what drives me today is the resilience I've built along the way and my passion for supporting others.
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SYMPTOMS OF MY C-PTSD (COMPLEX POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER)
Listed here are the mental challenges I've been working through, with the symptoms underlined I have healed from... Hyperarousal, difficulty sleeping + concentrating, depression, intense feelings of shame, perfectionism, scopophobia, negative self-view, social anxiety, emotional regulation difficulties, lack of self-worth, low confidence, hypervigilance, dissociation, chronic feelings of emptiness, splitting, self-harm, substance use, avoidance & eating disorders. Many of these symptoms have improved through years of intentional healing, but they continue to shape my empathy and understanding.
WHAT CONTRIBUTED TO MY C-PTSD?
EMOTIONAL ABUSE - Growing up in an oppressive environment, I endured years of narcissistic abuse from my main caretaker. This manifested as excessive shaming, criticism, manipulation, gaslighting, neglect, isolation, and religious abuse, which distorted my perception of the world and myself. I struggled with constant self-doubt, alienation, and the need for external validation, but I’ve learned to move forward and reclaim my sense of self.
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RACIAL + GENDER DISCRIMINATION - I’ve experienced racism and unsolicited commentary about my appearance throughout my life. In New Zealand, the bullying at school was relentless, with racial slurs, physical harassment, and threats of violence being a daily norm. Gender discrimination also became a constant, especially in cultures where inequality was overt.
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MEDICAL TRAUMAS - At 12, I was diagnosed with lupus, marking the start of a long and challenging journey with chronic illness. From kidney biopsies and chemo treatments to near-fatal incidents like a blood clot in my lung, navigating this illness required immense resilience. Negligence from medical professionals further complicated my condition, forcing me to advocate for myself and adapt to a healthier lifestyle. With dedication to fitness and nutrition, I’ve put my lupus into remission for 17 years without medication.
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SKATEBOARDING + THE THERAPEUTIC EFFECT - I picked up skateboarding during a difficult time in my life. Grieving my father’s passing and navigating the uncertainties of a global pandemic left me feeling stuck. Skating gave me a way to stay present, process my grief, and reconnect with myself. The meditative focus of staying on the board helped me identify and address performance anxiety and scopophobia, allowing me to confront these challenges through exposure therapy (still working on it). Skateboarding has been instrumental in helping me manage hypervigilance, a symptom of my C-PTSD, and continues to reveal areas of personal growth where it's needed. Beyond the physical act, it has deepened my self-awareness and inspired me to explore how skating can be a powerful tool for healing.
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WHY I CREATED THIS PROJECT + THE MNSTR METHOD - The MNSTR Skate Initiative was born from my desire to share my mental health journey, provide practical tools and share relevant wellness info for skaters and aspiring skaters. This project is a platform to empower individuals to take charge of their mental well-being, offering insights from my lived experiences. The MNSTR method reflects what I’ve learned so far: that healing is a multifaceted process and healing is not linear. Therapy can be incredibly helpful for your mental health journey, but I recognize that it's a privilege. It’s not accessible or affordable for everyone, and some may face barriers when seeking support... This is why I emphasize the importance of self-reliance in managing mental health. There are steps we can take on our own to nurture our well-being, even without professional support. Through my journey, I’ve found that self-awareness, mindfulness, and consistent effort can be powerful in creating change. I hope this project can provide practical insights and inspiration to help individuals take charge of their mental health in accessible and meaningful ways. Created with love + mindfulness, this initiative is my way of contributing to the mental health conversation within the skate community. Hope the info helps!